One night while having drinks with friends and engaging in everyone’s favorite Happy Hour pastime - complaining about toxic leaders at work - Kimberly Benoit began to form an idea that would become the seed for her new book “We’ve All Done It”.
The New Orleans based leadership coach observed that everyone at her table could easily conjure up a parade of faces of all the toxic leaders they had worked with over the years. So, as a former executive at Louisiana based Oshner’s Health Care and the Target Corporation, Kimberly asked herself - would her face appear in a former employee’s parade?
The uncomfortable answer.
Probably, yes.
Her face would likely pop up - and it would probably be wearing a carnivalesque Marti-Gras mask that didn’t look like the woman who stared back at her in the mirror when she brushed her teeth every morning. None of us like to think about ourselves as the villains in other people’s stories.
And so began Kimberly’s adventure interviewing people about their experiences with toxic leadership, toxic work environments, and toxic leadership traits - traits that they themselves might possess.
This research produced a lively and humorous book - she is southern after all - full of insights, stories, and strategies that every organizational leader should use to make sure they’re not the ones responsible for creating a toxic workplace.
The Subjectivity of Toxicity
As leadership trainer Jesan Sorrells said in our episode about storytelling, people in leadership positions need to accept that they will be the villain in somebody’s narrative. It goes with the job. Kimberly Benoit understands this too - acknowledging the subjectivity inherent in the label of a toxic leader.
Any time a leader says or does something, one person will perceive it as perfectly acceptable - or even laudable - while another will see it as further evidence that the leader is the Ant-Christ.
And yes - sometimes it’s the employee who brings the toxicity to the environment, so this is not an attempt to scapegoat leaders. Though they have a much larger influence on the culture of an organization and its level of toxicity.
So, it’s doubly important for leaders to look at themselves in the mirror and ask - “What am I doing to create a toxic environment?”
The Dangers of a Toxic Workplace
Anyone who has worked a significant amount of time has probably encountered a toxic boss. Some common toxic traits you may recognize include:
Arrogance
Dishonesty
Favoritism
Bullying
Abuse
Manipulation
And remember how guest Zoe Fragou differentiated between manipulation and influence on the Dark Triad episode? A leader who is influencing you is likely speaking to you about how your strengths can move an initiative forward. A manipulator is speaking to your fears and insecurities to compel you to do something,
Other signs you’re working for a toxic boss might include:
Double standards
Blaming others
Micromanaging
Blocking information
Gaslighting
And the consequences of a toxic work environment produced by a toxic boss are incredibly damaging.
Low morale
Stress
Fear
Anxiety
Uncertainty
And this atmosphere contributes to high levels of:
In-fighting
Siloing
Turnover
Quiet quitting
Abusive behavior toward others
And don’t forget damage to the organization as more employees post their experiences on websites like Glassdoor.
So, what are some strategies you can use if you’re in a toxic environment?
Recognizing the behavior for what it is - toxic
Setting boundaries to keep the toxicity at bay
Document what you are experiencing
Seeking support from others who see the toxic behavior
Leaving the situation
Like most difficult and complex situations, there are no easy answers to the issue of toxic leadership. We can offer through our latest podcast episode what Kimberly Benoit offers through her book “We’ve All Done It” - a mirror to reflect on your own potential to create toxicity in the workplace - and some strategies to address it in you and others.
You can also find out more about Kimberly Benoit at her website and on her podcast.