The Dark Triad Survival Guide

Don’t let the Machiavellians, Narcissists, and Psychopaths Get You Down

We’ve all dealt with highly toxic people in the workplace.

Sometimes they are colleagues, other times they are our bosses, and in some instances they lead our organizations. And I imagine we have all struggled with making sense of our relationships with these people due to a lack of vocabulary and understanding about toxic personality types - many of which fall within what psychologists call the Dark Triad.

In our latest episode of the Sense & Signal podcast, Jodah Jensen and I dive into this topic with organizational psychologist Zoe Fragou and Innovation Designer and empathy champion Brad Topliff. Framed around developing a Dark Triad Survival Guide - How to Protect Yourself From Narcissists, Machiavellians, and Psychopaths - the conversation led to some fascinating insights.

But before going there, unlike our guest Zoe Fragou, most of us are not psychologists steeped in the research on personality traits. So, we are not advocating for anybody to make a clinical diagnosis about a colleague. In fact, we probably throw around the term narcissist much too casually in our culture today. 

However, it is important to have an idea of these personality types so you have the vocabulary to name them when you suspect you're encountering them. And it’s equally useful to have the knowledge about why a person may be behaving the way they do in order to respond effectively.

Some insights from the episode that still have me thinking:

It is not uncommon for a person who has one of the Dark Triad traits - Machiavellianism, psychopathy, or narcissism - to also possess another - or all three. Like the character of Frank Underwood in the Netflix drama House of Cards, a person possessing all three traits can be highly dangerous - just ask reporter Zoe Barnes.

We often fall prey to these people because we cannot believe what we are experiencing. So, we try to find explanations that rationalize their toxic behavior because it’s difficult to believe someone could act in such a toxic and damaging way. But it’s important for us not to be blinded by our own empathetic tendencies, 

Another interesting insight that Brad Topliff underscored involves the importance of transparency as a tool to manage the dark triad individuals in an organization or team. When a person says this is what I’m experiencing with an individual, don’t make them feel like they’re crazy by minimizing their experience - especially if you know it’s part of a pattern of behavior. Assure them that you are aware and offer strategies to deal with the person.

The troubling reality is that many Dark Triad individuals are highly successful and rise to the top ranks within an organization. So, they need to crash before leadership will consider getting rid of them. Don Draper in the AMC series Mad Men is an excellent example. When he is dazzling clients with his brilliant advertising pitches early in the series, his superiors will put up with all kinds of bad behavior. But once his toxic personality and alcoholism leads him to crash, they show no reservations about unceremoniously showing him the door.

Despite this propensity to eventually crash, one has to wonder if some dark triad traits are necessary to reach the levels of success of an Elon Musk, Bill Gates, or Jeff Bezos. Is clear that you can be a conscientious and empathetic leader and reach certain levels of success. But do you need a little - or a lot of - Machiavellianism, psychopathy, or narcissism to lead your company to the echelon of success that Amazon, Tesla, or Microsoft enjoys.

Some big questions in this episode. Give it a listen or a watch and share your experience working with a Dark Triad person in the workplace - and what you did about it. We would love to hear from you.

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